Coolsville

Started this in 2019. Originally posted it as Sue Radziwon. First two verses popped out immediately, but didn’t have a closing. It read as a love poem, which made me uncomfortable because I knew it wasn’t.

It sort of dawned on me over the last month. I still don’t know exactly what it’s about, but it started with the idea that we are unreliable narrators in our own stories. I told myself that Sue was the reason I started writing, and indirectly that may be true, but I knew it wasn’t true in the sense of a muse or unrequited love. It was about seeing someone navigate pain and loss.

She reminded me of Rickie Lee Jones. Now, Rickie Lee was a full-on crush from the first time I saw her on SNL in April 1979. She came across as a tragic figure who didn’t seem to be doing herself any favors, but she was alive, and she was going to go down swinging.

——————-

Coolsville

I started writing
because of
Sue Radziwon
I couldn’t say
I loved the way
your whole body laughed
collapsing to the floor
shrouding your face
in chestnut hair

I started writing
because of
Sue Radziwon
I didn’t know
how to say sorry —
losing your dad
so young

I started writing
because of
Sue Radziwon
on my parents carpet
seeing you
on late night tv
that’s the way
we always thought it would be*
somehow
I thought you knew
how to stick it into Coolsville*


*Coolsville. 1979 Rickie Lee Jones